Today wasn't one of those days that I will look back on and go 'yeah, lovely day' despite eating my last mini donuts ever and trying vegan soft ice cream. I was out at town and walking across one of the squares when an old, skinny and grey haired man from foreign descent pass by me and say 'Hej bella' (Hello beautiful) which I gave a half smile to, mostly since I didn't know how to react. How he eyed me before he passed me felt like he stripped me of all my clothes, so not that pleasant.
Here I want to take the moment and tell you how I look today:
greasy hair pulled back in a bun, black playsuit (which basically looks like t-shirt and shorts) together with ballerina shoes and backpack.
Not feeling the sexiest in other words but clearly shorts makes men lose it more than skirts/dresses (which I usually wear) because the moment I wear shorts these kind of stuff always happens.
Let me continue.
After sipping on a mocha latte (on soy milk) and walking around in the hot sun I started to feel a little queasy so I decided to take the bus home, especially since the coffee didn't help with me feeling so tired.
I sit down on the seat by the window and the bus isn't even half full, a couple of people all around occupying the window seat. Then this man with a huge backpack comes and sit down by me. He manspread wide but I refuse to move my leg since I occupy my space I'm allowed to. He continues to sit like that and even has his arm against mine.
I don't push against him or anything, I just don't move. I have my backpack in my lap and my mug of mocha between my other leg and the wall. I stare out the window.
This guy adjusts a couple of times, I think his backpack is a bit heavy and slides down or something but he keeps on manspreading with his thigh against mine. At one point he put his hand on his lap so he elbows me in the arm but I stay quiet.
Now, here is the part that made this encounter less than cosy. After a while I feel his finger against my thigh which there was no need to because his hand could definitely fit properly on his own thigh. I couldn't see his hand since my backpack was in the way but before I got off I could swear I could feel at least one or even two fingers on my thigh. He had slowly moved his hand further and further toward my thigh. There is no way he wasn't aware of this.
So, I quickly get off at my bus stop and thankfully he doesn't get off too. I walk toward home and when I am closing in on the square where I live another man, thin haired, a bit bulky but not fat walk up from behind me and start talking to me. He asked if I live here because he just moved here and didn't have many friends and wanted a 'tjej...kompis' (girl... pal, his words) and wondered if I was interested.
I said I was only visiting, that I really lived in Gothenburg and he asked again if there was no chance I could be his 'girl pal' and I said no as friendly as I could and he took it really well (I was surprised because usually these guys are persistent as hell, I was even prepared to take a detour home in case he would keep on following me) but he said ok, I said good luck and he walked away. Before we went separate ways completely I said 'have a good day' and he said the same to me. That encounter was more about me remembering all the other times men have walked up to me with the same purpose and I felt trapped and couldn't shake them off since this guy was rather friendly.
After that I walked home and here I am writing this. My biggest question is after all that, why do these men always come out of the woodwork when I'm wearing shorts of some sort? I wasn't even dressed up today, I mean, I rushed out to go to physiotherapist so I didn't have time to wash my hair and still three guys today!
The last one was all right though, he seemed genuinely friendly and he really did take my no nicely and walked away and when he looked at me he didn't seem to strip me in his mind. Maybe, who knows we could have been friends if that was what he really wanted but what he really meant wasn't girl pal but girlfriend and yeah no thanks.
The other two though... *chills* and it really makes me want to burn all my shorts because I hate that kind of attention but I won't and I will still wear them because I will not let men like that dictate what I wear or not. If I want to wear shorts I will without being scared of being hit on or touched on by creepy dudes. I shouldn't conform to them, they should learn to respect women.
To the women reading this: Do not ever let anyone tell you what you can or cannot wear.
To the men reading this: Shorts is not an invitation to you, treat women with the same respect as you treat other men.