Friday, December 26, 2014

Is it too much to ask to be accepted as is?

I read this comment the a while ago:
"You can not ask your partner to accept you just as you look in all situations."

In my opinion I think one can, if one truly have a deep and meaningful relationship then it shouldn't matter if I have a good or bad day appearance wise, I am still the person my partner love no matter if I sit in a pair of sweatpants and my greasy hair in a bun or if I sit in a cocktail dress with my hair smelling like daisies. If my partner cannot accept all shades of me, then why be together? I am not saying the person should love and think my every bad trait is fantastic, but accept that they are a part of me - that goes with appearance too, pimples and all as I usually say.

Being yourself in front of your partner means, at least to me, not dolling up every minute every day, especially if we live together. If I have the flu and is lying on the bathroom floor I am not going to fancy up just in case my partner sees me because my partner might not accept how I look after puking out all my stomach content...

I think this point of view in a way depends on the maturity of the relationship. In the beginning I can agree with this because then it is more surface and polish but the more serious and longer you are together the less likely it is that you will always look your best at all times, especially if you live together. I can burp and fart in front of a partner and that person can do that in front of me, I will not accept or love them less for it and expect the same back.

The person also wrote:
"Why do you NOT want to be everyday fresh and normal good looking in front of your partner?"

Now, there are two things which I get hung up on "everyday fresh" and "normal good looking", what does that even mean? "Everyday fresh" is such a fluent thing, not everyone thinks the same, I don't wear make up and wouldn't consider that "everyday fresh" but more effort while someone who does wear make up will see that as something that is included in "everyday fresh". "Normal good looking" to me is to be myself not this dolled up version of myself at every point of every day, if I had to look great every time my partner would see me then I wouldn't feel they truly love or accept me for who I am. My partner should love all of me no matter greasy or newly showered hair, just as I would with my partner.

If you cannot treat your partner with respect and accept them for who they are then you shouldn't be in that relationship at all, that is my two cents. And if your partner repeatedly says mean things about you then it is time to leave because in time that will break you down, you should be with someone who lift you up instead.

Scheduled post.

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